As I write I am sitting in the Peace Corps volunteer lounge. Wanting to go home (Outjo) because I’ve been in Windhoek too long but afraid to go home because it is one more step into the unknown. I don’t particularly know why it is all hitting me now, that some of the people that I nonchalantly said goodbye to over the past week may not be seen again for some time. These people that were my friends, family, counselors and sounding board over the past two years. I’m wondering what my impact actually was in Namibia, what have I accomplished here? I’m attempting to figure out where I go from here but the conviction to follow my heart and stay strong when things seem impossible is wearing thin at this particular time. I knew the end would be tumultuous, but I guess I just expected myself to filter things better; however, here I sit…not knowing whether to be excited, to be nostalgic, to cry, to question everything I’ve been doing lately, or to just close it all out and go to sleep.

I leave Namibia on March 28th. I guess I have about two months to figure it all out.